Every day seems to reveal some new formerly hidden layer of my psyche. Every day during the past few weeks, some once hidden facet of my mind pops up, shakes its ass, and says hello.

Layers of whatever mess of duct tape and christmas wrapping that held my mind together keep getting peeled away by a greedy kid who can’t wait to get to the next present. “Cool!” Then tossed into the pile of crap that’s already forgotten on that crisp Christmas morn’. “What’s next?!”

Or more likely, my mind is a ripe onion ready to be carmelized. Carmelized onions…[drool noise]…

[note: You can do some amazing things with carmelized onions. They're a wonderful addition to so many possible food combinations that I'm not even going to try to offer a recipe. Just carmelize some onions already! What have you got to lose but your arms in a horrible gas stove mishap?]

I wonder what happens when I get to the center of the onion of my life? Will my psyche just fizzle away into nothingness? Will the revelation that everything I know to be true and good is an illusion brought about by a rancid fungus encrusted skin on my mind do anything more to me than motivate me to do push-ups?

There are many days where I’d like to be a nice normal person with a career and a family and never think about this shit because I’d have too many other problems and distractions. Then there are those weird times where the process is so damn disturbing and and so damn painful that I feel grateful that I screwed up my life early on otherwise I might never have seen or experienced any of this shit.

Or…I might have gotten it out of the way when I was 20 and by now I’d be so far along the path that what I know to be true right now, after all the explosive growth the previous six weeks, would be like being 3 years old again. No way to know really and that’s a shame.

Where’s that time travel machine I was promised by science fiction? Where’s all that cloning and body manipulation I was promised by Blade Runner? Cyborgs! Why am I not battling cyborgs at this very moment instead of writing this shit?!

I’m so bored by my own internal state and the neverending bits of mental construct idiocy that are being revealed at a rapid and quickening rate. Bring on the rampaging cyborgs and their 12 eyed cloned dog minions because they’re easy to deal with once you learn their secret weakness and, if we’ve learned nothing from movies, all enemies/villians/et al have a fatal weakness.

I think mine might be a penchant for peeling onions.