While I was camping in a forest in Northern California and making myself some quinoa (a high protein grain that tastes like whole wheat couscous) and chickpea Indian-style concoction, I was pondering how much spice to add and I realized something about myself…

…I like food so spicy that it will melt the hair off your balls.

So I made that quinoa and chickpea thing just that hot and let me tell you, my balls felt a little more free that night. And in the morning when I was changing clothes, getting ready for a new day of fun and adventure…I won’t go into details but a cool breeze on your newly shorn testicles from the food that was so spicy a guy in Gujurat was coughing up blood in a kind of cosmic sympathetic reaction is a nice feeling. It’s refreshing.

Try it next time you’re camping. You just might like it.