Here’s a strange thing about traveling near the coast in Oregon that bothered me greatly and that was silly but what are you gonna do.

A long time ago, in the latter waning days of the 20th century, I left New York City and was wandering through America, seeing rural areas that I’d only ever heard about.

“HOLY CRAP! THAT’S A COW!” popped out of my mouth a lot back then. “There are hundreds of cows here! Look at all the cows!”

It was during that time that I first learned about the pickup-wave. A small friendly gesture of acknowledgement you give when driving past other people in rural lands. It’s done instinictively since the people you’re passsing are almost always the people you know.

However, it’s a kind of courtesy to give the wave to people you don’t know too. It’s just what you do.

I’d long since gotten in the habit of giving the pickup-wave when out and about. I drive a pickup. I give the pickup-wave. It’s polite and nice to be friendly since it takes so little effort.

So I was driving in some pretty rough terrain trying to get over the mountains that run along the coast of Oregon, giving the pickup-wave whenever someone passed me and only one time did it get returned.

It’s no big deal in the grand scheme of things but I’d come to expect that to happen when driving in those kinds of places. Everyone did the happy little wave.

What I find most amusing and curious about myself is that I found the lack of response kind of insulting. “What is with these assholes? Maybe the last 10 guys didn’t see the wave? Okay…everyone remain calm…I’m going to keep doing this and see what happens…[a truck appears, a figner wave goes out and is not returned]…you impolite cocksucker! Don’t you know the rules of etiquette?!”

[a small aside: Why is cocksucker an epithet? Why is it yelled out like it's a bad thing? It's a good thing. It's a really good thing to find someone you like who likes to engage in that activity. If you wrote out a list of all the things you could do to a guy that would be in the top ten...no the top five...of those things. We all have to work together to rescue this word, this notion, this concept, from from the negative connotation. We've got to stop this negativity about cocksucking before it's too late and the negativity gets into the zeitgeist and the whole concept disappears!

How does one go about contacting your congressperson to start a "National Day of..." Wouldn't you just love to hear a talking head on the news tell you about the activities happening on National Cocksucking Day? I sure would. Imagine seeing the news scroll on CNN or FOXNews announce, "Today is National Cocksucking Day. Activities are planned around the Washington Monument."

Let it be resolved...no more negative usage of that word and notion. Let's make a concerted effort to use it only in a positive life affirming way...which is exactly what cocksucking is...life affirming. It's a crusade, man!]

None of the locals in the coastal ranges returned my waves. So they so they suck, but they are not cocksuckers since that would be too good for them, they’re just plain old miserable. The Oregon people of the eastern high desert were a little more friendly. Not friendly enough to be called cocksuckers but they returned the wave so at least they knew how to behave in society.

When someone takes the trouble to acknowledge you, acknowledge them back. You wouldn’t want people saying you’re not a cocksucker, would you?