I think too much that’s for sure. In fact, I may be driving myself completely insane constantly pondering my own internal state.

No good comes of that since the most successful people on the planet are usually the most clueless about themselves. I’ll never be president if I keep this up.

So, anyway, I’ve been pondering and mulling over the angry confrontation I had with the people who cared about me driving over 6 inches of their ugly dirt.

In every way I look at it the wife, the mother, the one obviously in charge, the one making that bastard of a tiny little man’s life miserable (I forgot to mention that after a few minutes of arguing he plaintively asked me if I were married, the reasoning being that if I were I’d assume what a nightmare his life was and that I’d just acquiesce to help him out because if I were married then surely I’d understand and take pity), had been pondering the parking situation for a long time, a long time, and now she had worked herself up into a frenzy and because of that she was out for blood.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I have to admit that I have done that very thing. I have thought and thought and worked myself up into a frenzy about a notion, a perceived injustice, a wonderment at the idiocy of others, and I’ve been thinking how silly and small that person is.

That woman stamping her foot like a child thwarted from getting to the sharp knives, the fool and madman sitting in front of a computer typing with abandon in love with his own words and own beautiful logic that the frenzy takes hold and self-righteousness is the call of the day!

Usually, for me anyway, if I could stop myself for a minute, an hour, or a few days, I’d have the perspective to act like a human being instead of a screaming idiot ranting into the wind.

It’s quite annoying now being conscious of this but still not having control over my mind in the moment. What I need is a time slowing device where I can get into that moment, hit the button and take a nap on the thing.

Then I’d come back refreshed and laugh a gleeful laugh at the silliness of my thoughts and almost actions. I bet my life would flow a lot more smoothly if I did.

Why doesn’t Ebay sell time slowing devices? They have toast with the picture of the actual virgin impregnation and Cheetos shaped like Truman kissing Stalin but no time slowing devices. Fuckers.

Another thing I noticed today is that when I’m pissed off and writing something I fall into a kind of imitation of the Jeffersonian Declaration of Independence. I use rhetoric and logical points arrayed in such a way to make argument impossible. This doesn’t surprise me because I think the Declaration of Independence is beautifully written and that’s the way my mind works anyway.

Destroy opposition with reason and logic and in the process be a fool out of step with the world.

Self-awareness is pissing me off and I’ve had a lot of time to ponder this stuff while I sit at work waiting and waiting and waiting some more for the appointed time to feed fat health care workers who would be just as happy eating from a trough.

From now on I’m never thinking again! This I resolve.

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one when a choice must be made. A choice to stop thinking or devolve into a state of never ending self-awareness and stupification by that very knowledge…

And to top all this self-awareness off while waiting for feed the masses, I’m not even going to get a bicycle ride in today because I won’t be done until long after dark. Bastard people wanting to eat!