Okay…I guess there needs to be a little backstory to this because otherwise it makes absolutely no sense even in the context of a grandiose inside joke.

When you work with people for a long time, in close quarters, at a job that doesn’t much occupy your minds, you tend to talk about stupid silly shit. Things you’d never bring up in polite conversation you ask coworkers because that’s the only way to keep from going insane and gutting them with a pencil.

For instance, a few months ago someone in the group was asking the question that comes up in all work situations eventually…boxers or briefs. When they got to me I told the truth and said “None of the above.”

Why I gave up on underwear is a short and not particularly glorious story that harkens all the way back to the my time in advertising when I used to bicycle to work every day.

One fateful morning, I thought that carrying all those extra clothes and whatnot with me was a pain and I just didn’t do it. I rebelled against the system!

That very same day I was compelled to go to a meeting where bicycle clothes would have been a bit too casual. I always kept a pair of jeans and a buttondown shirt at the office for just such an emergency but I didn’t have underwear. I did what I had to do, went to the meeting, felt a little awkward and just a bit…comfortable.

What I realized that day was that underwear was kind of annoying. It gets in the way of life for lack of a more lyrical notion.

Give up your shackles of oppression! Free your minds! Release your gonads from their destructive prisions!

Now we fast forward to nearly a decade later and the question was posed and my response brought untold comedy amongst my coworkers. They couldn’t stop making jokes about my pants.

People are like that. They love to make a joke about what they don’t understand.

Now flash forward (no pun intended) where one of those grand comedy moments comes together and they start improvising words about me and my lifestyle choices to the Tom Petty song “Freefalling” that happened to be playing on the restuarant stereo.

This continued for weeks, for months and one day the notion of doing a music video came up and I happened to have the new Olympus C-7000 digital still camera on me (hence the bad sound and image) so I set it up and let my cowokers work their magic.

It should be noted that if you actually get past all this and watch the video, “Bilotti” is a nickname that came about because Chris can’t stop singing, rhyming and just generally babbling about everything.

“Scotty Bilotti had a pumpkin potty” is his best creation. What does it mean? No one knows, not even Chris.

And thus, without further ado…

[Click on the image to see the movie.]

It’s kind of weird to have people sing about you when you’re not famous. Only famous people should have songs about them and their underwearlessness.