I don’t think I have avian flu but I wish I did because then I might be patient zero and that would be kind of cool. I’d be the guy who destroyed civillization…inadvertently…Woops! Sorry about that. My bad. I didn’t know I was spreading pestilence and death everywhere. Thought it was just the simple flu.

Which is probably what I’m plagued with right now. The simple boring flu causing everything to feel a little bit sore. How could your hair hurt? What’s just weird.

My back hurts like I’ve been working in the coal mines. My hair hurts like I was lost on the field with Custer.

Initially I wrote “custard” which is a good image. Me in my bright orange bicycling sweater, green military style cargo pants, wandering aimlessly around the plains with a cup of custard. I don’t even like custard but I’d carry it through the frozen plains of North America for the shot…for that movie that’s running in my head all the time.

While I’m pondering movies, anyone else out there dream in movies? When I remember my dreams they’re always cinematic and well shot. The cinematography is beautiful and the edits are pefect.

I dream in edits! Once I dreamed split screen. What the hell is that all about?

There is nothing more insipid than two college aged girls talking loudly about their relationships. If they’re going to do that then they need to at least be really hot so you don’t care.

Poor Dimitri. His life must be miserable dating that one chick who’s babbling inanely next to me. I want to do an intervention. I want to find him and tell him to run the fuck away. I want to grab him by the fucking neck and scream in his face. I want to bitchslap him, kick him in the groin and get that pain over for him because he’s going to be miserable for the next few months until he gets dumped.

If I had avian flu I’d run over there right now and lick both of those bubble heads. Here you go…take a little death home with you…take a little virus justice with you.

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about their relationships in my life and when I hear them I usually think, “Is that nightmare really worth it? Do you need to get laid that badly that you will listen to this crap and not weigh the merits of various shovels to bury the fucking body?”

I guess something is wrong with me because I’d rather be very very alone than have to deal with the turmoil and tribulations.

Although, it should be noted that the last relationship, how clinical and Dr. Ruth sounding, I put up with a whole lot of bullshit for no readily apparent reason. Why? It seemed like a good idea at the time. Inertia?

That’s probably the mental state poor Dimitri is in right now. He thinks it’s a good idea at the time. Little does he know that he’s on his way out and that girl has about as much respect for him as she might have for a drunken clown. Why would she fuck him then? What am I not understanding?

This is important I think. I’m missing something crucial. Maybe I just ponder this stuff too much.

I’m going to stop right now. Here I go…