I work for a catering company and while we were chatting about nothing at all to do with food this morning I thought that we should market to drug lord and crime bosses because they have lots of money and they must have organizational functions.

If some lieutenant gets whacked then there has to be a funeral party and if there’s a funeral party then there’s got to be food because you can’t ask gun toting murderers to show up and not feed them. Who wants an angry guy with a gun standing around your house?

So the idea is that we’d make the connections to the drug lords by approaching the street dealers with the question, “Who is the decision maker in your organization?” and then, a short blindfolded drive to a mysterious compound later, we’re rolling in ill-gotten cash.

We already feed some of the people who work in the defense industry and if we’re willing to feed people who make bombs that blow people up/set them on fire/vaporize their gonads (not to mention the evil health care industry sucking at the teat of the pain of the dying) the least we could do is feed people who bring a little drug induced joy into the empty lives of the masses.