Naked Clog Dancing Salton Sea Saguaro Blooming Toes Stunned by my own life
George Washington

Posted on Tuesday 6 June 2006

He once held an opponent’s wife’s hand in acid at a party. And four testicles too!

That motherfucker had…like..30 goddamn dicks…

3 Comments for 'George Washington'

  1.  
    Christopher Alexander Orloff
    June 18, 2006 | 9:00 pm
     

    This was brilliant. I don’t know anything about you, but you show more potential than most of what I’ve seen, so I’ll offer some friendly advice. Make more of these. I’m somewhat familiar with the creative process, enough to know that it can be so fun it hurts, but I like to see a good brain leave as much residue on the world as possible before it conks out.

    Critically speaking, you do a lot of amature work, but this one in particular has a plot line, a kind of structure, and that’s universally accepted as a sign of artistic maturity. So if I were your teacher, I would tell you to practice as much as you can on giving character and life to a personally morbid realm. And if you were to reach your full potential, someday create a widely accepted masterpiece, I would imagine you would write or direct radical films or cartoons. There’s a lot of money in the film industry.

    Farewell, and good fortune to the both of us.

  2.  
    Toneman
    June 19, 2006 | 8:39 am
     

    And all weekend, my PLBS (Permanaent Lifetime Background Sountrack) was whispering: “He’ll save the children, but not the British children…”

  3.  
    June 21, 2006 | 5:55 pm
     

    I can’t stop singing the damn song. “Two on the vine…how divine!”

    “He’s coming…he’s coming…he’s coming…”

    I use it all the time at work. All day yesterday I combined the beauty and murderous wonder that is George Washington with my hatred for Elvis which I was forced to listen to multiple times.

    George Washington would fucking kill Elvis. He’d save British children, raise them as his personal army who’d then go out and slaughter everyone ever connected with Elvis and all the rabid fans too!

    Oh yeah…I’m starting work on a time machine as soon as I’m done typing drivel and then I’m going back in fucking time, telling George Washington what has become of this country, and he’ll be so pissed off that he’ll be coming, he’ll be coming, he’ll be coming back to the future where he’ll clean up the mess and set the nation on a righteous course.

    Of course, we’ll stop in the US south on the way and George will slaughter all that is connected with Elvis.

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