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The oven and death collecting his toys

It’s an oven out there. A literal oven.
I’ve taken to walking around town with yams in my hands, I hold them up around shoulder height as if I were bearing a kind of food cross. They’ll cook soon enough to have a nice dinner with some vegetables I keep in my pockets. I could [...]

Another dildo story in the continuing saga

A few weeks ago I was told a story about an ex-husband stealing a woman’s dildos (note the plural). That got me inspired to write this posting but when I posed the idea to a guy I know who has a super-8 film camera to shoot he rewrote it. I rewrote what he wrote to [...]

Sweaty birthday cake strawberry

Crafting a story with random images

I carry a camera with me at all times. You never know when you’re going to see something interesting or want to capture a moment if you’re a voyeur and an observer of life.
I bring this up because I happened to take a picture at work last week that made two of my male coworkers [...]

What was it?

Can’t remember what the fuck it was. What was I gonna say? Hey! Is this thing on?
You forget things sometimes. You spend enough time alone in here. You spend enough time alone, reading the desperate pleadings of people on Craigslist, of the horny and the needy and the all too human desire. You spend enough [...]

Kevin Smith on Superman

No, it’s not a weird gay wrestling movie. And I’m not even a big fan of Kevin Smith. However, this talk on his association with what eventually became Superman Returns is absolutely hilarious.

Maximizing the comedy essence of the universe

The universe appears to be mocking me lately. The hand of god isn’t parting the heavens, slicing through the clouds and making obscene gestures at me.
I think I’d like that more.
What’s been happening to me the past month has been a slow, inexorable, drift into a kind of unreality, where, at any random moment, focusing [...]

Clown fight

It’s Friday night.
I’m sitting at home writing shit no one will see. I’m eating a very nice quinoa, lentil, sweet potato, kale, red pepper dish I made the day before, drinking a little red wine with that meal. I’m an upscalel, quality oriented, elitist failure.
A call comes…there’s going to be a clown fight. Dozens, maybe [...]

Water on the bar

The honky tonk music in the background was perfect for this moment and he hated it. He pondered a spot of water on the bar, condensation from a beer he’d had an hour ago, he saw the lights reflected in it, saw the movement of the bartender reflected in that water, saw his hand slowly [...]