Bowling made my thumb hurt.
Beer alleviated that pain.
Reading about philosophy and religion brought it back again.
I’ve got to stop doing that. Got to stop thinking. Questioning. Wondering. Searching.
Give up. Let go.
Slide.
It’s what the wise men say anyway.
Bowling is one of those bonding activities that people do to have fun with friends. Otherwise there is no point to bowling at all. It’s like striving to be good at tiddlywinks. Just something to do until you die.
My neighbor is a collector of coins and insects. He’s a good guy and he’s a bit nutty.
In this shit he is like most. Waiting to die. Killing time with idleness until something does them a favor and kills them so they don’t have to kill anymore time.
This has been my greatest fear since I was five years old and had tubes in my chest sucking out bloody mucus from the operation to remove a dead third of a lung.
Uselessness and meaning have been battling in my soul ever since.
Meaning destroys my ability to act.
Uselessness means nothing and so is ultimate freedom. Uselessness, by its natures, is simple easy action.
Meaning is the grail, the glimmering hope in the distance, always to far to begin to hope to try to reach. Too terrible to experience.
Get close enough to dying and you wonder. Even at five you wonder.
Wonder is only a part of the equation though. The rest, the most is courage. Courage is the beast that rides into battle and slays all in its path. Courage is the demon that tears the flesh from the virgins, that obliterates the frail and the pedestrian. Courage is the warrior in the midst of battle cowering a thousand foes by the virtue of standing.
Wonder and courage, needs and desires, hopes and motherfucking dreams.
Failure of will, failure to act is poison.
All life has to fight just to survive.
Humans have to learn to live together to thrive.
Groups of humans have to fight to survive as groups.
Societies of groups have to live together to thrive.
Yin and motherfucking yang. Push pull. Create destroy. Male female.
The wheel is pain and Buddha wanted out.
Beer only makes stops you from caring about your thumb.
“Whatta they got that I ain’t got?..courage” Have a few more pitchers of that dark brew and watch The Wizard of OZ. Everything you need to know is there. After a few beers.
“The wheel is turning and you can’t slow down
You can”t let go and you can’t hold on
You can’t go back and you can’t stand still…
If the thunder don’t get ya then the lightning will.
Small wheel turnin by the fire in the rod
Big wheel turnin by the grace of God
every time that wheel goes round
Bound to cover just a little more ground.
Couldn’t you try just a little bit harder?
Couldn’t you try just a little bit more?” JG/ RIP
This isnt a comment regarding this piece. I ask you though…..why create a web-site soley to endorse ways to kill oneself? Was is meant to be humourous?