I was sitting in a coffeehouse here in Tucson (Epic in case anyone is actually following the story and using Google Maps to track my movements) trying to read and mind my own silly business next to two women who were TALKING TALKING TALKING NEVER STOP TALKING about their mystical meditative experiences.

Hey, I’m all for a meditative experience. Fuck, I’d join them if they could shut up for a few seconds but they couldn’t and I heard everything about every detail of their lives for about a half hour.

One of the lines that was so funny I laughed out loud, and got a weird look because of, was this quote,

“When I meditate to the Buddha statue with the half smile and closed eyes he opens his eyes and grins at me. It freaks me out so I can’t do it all the time.”

Some days I love being the fly on the wall. Because if I were trying to talk to her or to pick her up or just kill some time with idle conversation, I wouldn’t have been able to cope and my brain’s defensive reactions to ward off the paralyzing contagion of kookiness would have gone into effect and the paramedics never would figure out what was wrong. They’d just see me catatonic eyes closed with a half smile.

Meanwhile, my brain would be soaring down a line while holding a camera like in the trailer video about mountain biking (click on trailer and be amused).

I’d never come back from something that much fun so it’s probably best that my mind could hide behind a wall of comedy otherwise I might refuse to return.

What’s this world got for me anyway? Fat miserable avaricious health care workers? Pedestrian tastes Raytheon employees some of whom are smarter than a few small nations combined and who just happen to love to blow people up? A pervasive air of dis-motivation? Smiling Buddhas on acid? Yet more coffee?

Yeah! What I need is more caffeine to jolt me out of the world and into another state of consciousness where something like statues that smile makes perfect sense.