While I was taking photos at my boss’s baby’s bris Saturday I grabbed a tart to eat. I looked up to see my dentist standing across the table watching me…judging me and for the weak sugar crazed monster I am.

This created an odd feeling of guilt, like being caught by your parents taking a sip of their wine when you were ten.

So never eat dessert in front of your dentist if you can avoid it. And if you absolutely need to eat dessert near your dentist I’d sneak it into the bathroom and lock the door.

FOR GOD’S SAKE! LOCK THE DOOR!

Your dentist might have had a lot to drink that day.

And if you’re going to eat dessert in the bathroom, hiding from your dentist, have the good sense to do it with your pants off so that if anyone does stumble in they’ll just assume you’re masturbating and leave quickly so you can get back to the dessert.