Okay…I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being a biological creature. I want to know where my android body is that I can upload my consciousness into.

I was promised that as a kid and I think, by now, after all these fucking years, someone would have made the future the present and my android presence would fend off virus attacker like a tank vends off a slingshot.

I’m sick of mucus and coughing and headaches and strange body aches and cold sweats and hot sweats and not having slept in days because every time I do I am awakened by dreams of abstract lines and shapes that seem more like a Czechoslovakian Stalinist experimental film circa 1963 than a normal dream with an internal consistency and a kind of narrative.

What ever happened to a nice flying dream? Huh? How about a nice flying sex dream? What about those? What the deal with this flu that making my subconscious mind clinically insane?

I feel sane when awake. Sure I threatened the kid who tried to sell me magazines last night with slaughter. I don’t know why he asked me if I was violent when I came to the door. It was weird but that gave me free reign to play.

“You’re not violent are you?”
“Only when I’m bothered at night with people asking me to buy stuff. Let me go get some knives to sharpen.”
[insert fast patter spiel about kids competing to sell magazine to get a trip to Paris]
“You know the best way to get rid of the body?”
“Wha…”
[insert my fast patter improvisation about how to hide a body in the desert cutting him off every time he tried to go back to his sales pitch]
“You’re going? Okay, that’s for coming by. Come back tomorrow!”

Never annoy a sick guy. I even shook his hand after blowing my nose and spread germs purposely. WAHAHAHAHA!!!! Victory is mine! Crappy magazines are not mine! It’s a decisive victory in the war against unwanted interruptions.

If you’re going to come to my door at night and stop me from watching a very funny Strong Bad email

Peaceful is not how I roll!!!

you should at least be a hot young girl, preferably in some sort of unusual tight outfit, so I have something to look at while I’m nodding and ignoring everything you say.